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  “Murph? What the fuck are you guys talking about?”

  Sebastian raised an eyebrow at me and I remembered what he mentioned earlier.

  “You’re serious,” I said. “You’re really gonna do it. He actually convinced you that re-opening Hades is a good idea.”

  “It’ll work. We’ll have control of all of Old Town. It’ll be the bar that everybody goes to.”

  “You know it won’t work if it’s not a clubhouse.”

  “It’ll work with or without the Devils. Sometimes people just want a place to drink. And if it doesn’t… Well, Murph has made enough money that he can take a loss.”

  “What about you?”

  “Me? Murph is doing most of the funding. Murph himself taught me how to do business. He taught all of us, remember?”

  Sebastian put a few bucks on the counter to pay for his drinks. He looked at the liquor in my glass then pulled some more money out.

  “Give him something good,” he said to the bartender.

  Sebastian gave me another pat on the back as the bartender poured another glass for me.

  “Life is Hell before you get to Heaven,” he said.

  Seabass left me alone with my glass of overpriced whiskey. I’d had a few drinks but my thoughts were still clear. I sighed a deep breath as I examined my drink.

  “Life is Hell before you get to Heaven,” I said to myself.

  I gulped it down, hoping that it would make me forget about all of the bullshit feelings I was dealing with, even if it was for only just a moment.

  Chapter 17

  MIA

  My father always looked the same to me. Nothing about him had changed ever since I was a child. I hadn’t lived that long myself. Twenty-one years wasn’t very many with as old as my father was. But it was still remarkable that he was able to carry himself with a dignified confidence. With all of the people I’d met in my life, it was a rare sight.

  Seeing Arthur sitting at the table next to him, I could almost see a resemblance. I hadn’t known Arthur for very long but he seemed even more confident than usual. Most men would cower from just being around my father. Arthur didn’t seem to care what my father had done in his life and what he was capable of. No matter how I felt about Arthur, I still had to give him my respect.

  “You’ll be happy to know that everything is well, Mr. Palazzo. The shipments are moving and the cash flow being generated is already enough to sustain itself.”

  “You seem quite satisfied with yourself,” my father replied.

  “I should be. It’s going as well as I could have expected.”

  “And the other parties?”

  “The other parties are happy with the results.”

  “When you’re making a business deal like that, that’s more important than anything else. All it takes is one unhappy partner to cause problems. Do you want my advice, Burke?”

  “Of course.”

  “Keep everybody fed. Then they won’t even mind that you’re at the top of the food chain. Get yours and let the rest trickle down to them.”

  “That’s quite sound advice, Mr. Palazzo.”

  Listening to the two of them talk about business over dinner was something I’d gotten used to over the years. My father wouldn’t talk much about his business specifically but he would let my mother know that things were going well. Over the past week, I listened to Arthur tell me that the deal in Ivory was settled and there was no more business that needed to be negotiated. He told me I should be happy.

  I wasn’t.

  Not with thoughts of Roman still lingering around in my head.

  I had my head down as I looked at my phone. The last message Roman sent me from a week ago was still there.

  “Life is Hell before you get to Heaven.”

  I kept staring at it, hoping that he would send something to me. Even if I knew we couldn’t be together, I still wanted to know that he was still there. Some stupid part of me waiting for him to tell me he had a solution to all of this.

  “Is something wrong, Mia?”

  I looked up and Arthur raised his eyebrows at me.

  “You haven’t touched your food,” he said.

  “Oh… Sorry… I just… I don’t know… I haven’t been feeling well lately… My appetite kinda comes and goes…”

  “It must be something in that Ivory water. I’m sure you’ll be fine and you’ll get your appetite back soon enough.”

  I started picking at my food with my fork to stop an interrogation from both of the men sitting in front of me.

  “Speaking of which, how was Ivory?” my father said. “Small towns are always fascinating.”

  “It was,” Arthur responded. “You wouldn’t have thought much of it if you saw it on the map. Just a town in the middle of nowhere that nobody has ever heard of. But it’s quaint. It’s got a certain charm and personality about it that’s hard to describe.”

  “I grew up in a small town myself. Back in the old country, I used to live on a farm. Every day, I had the same routine. I would tend to the crops and the livestock. It was an ordinary life but I enjoyed it.”

  “Life in Ivory is anything but ordinary,” Arthur said with a chuckle. “It’s a small town but the people there are interesting. There are more motorcycle clubs there than I was used to seeing.”

  “Motorcycle clubs?”

  “The MCs there are staples of their society, so to speak. Even the sheriff’s department seems too afraid to police them. There’s a bit of lawlessness in Ivory. Dangerous but still a bit charming.”

  “I see…”

  My father turned his attention to me.

  “…How about you, Mia? What did you think of Ivory?”

  I slowly chewed on a bite of food and swallowed it down.

  How do I put this?

  “Ivory was nice,” I said. “It’s a nice change of pace from the big city. All of the buildings tend to get in the way of the view here. It’s a beautiful place, Ivory is…”

  “This city is beautiful in its own way,” Arthur said.

  “You’re right. I’m glad I’m back home. I had a good time in Ivory but I’m back where I belong.”

  “And what about you two?” my father said. “Did you two get to know each other a little better?”

  “Yes…” Arthur started. “Unfortunately, negotiations took up more of my time than I was expecting.”

  “No matter. The wedding is less than a month away. There’s still plenty of time for the two of you to get better acquainted before your union.”

  “Indeed.”

  Arthur eyeballed me from across the table. I didn’t return his stare, looking down at my food. I needed something, anything, to distract me from the one thing I didn’t want to think about.

  Arthur’s phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the number.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know how rude it is to speak on a phone at the dinner table.”

  “Nonsense,” my father said to him. “Business is business.”

  “I’m afraid I’ll have to cut this dinner short. I wouldn’t get a call from this number if it wasn’t an urgent manner.”

  Arthur popped up from his seat and walked toward me.

  “I’ll see you later tonight,” he said. “If you’re still up.”

  “Yes,” I said with a nod.

  He smiled at me for just a second before straightening up and walking out of the dining room. Silence filled the room again except for the sound of silverware clinking against plates.

  I lazily cut away at my food while my father ate in near silence.

  “Dad…”

  “Yes?”

  I looked to the side of the dining room to make sure that Arthur had left the house completely.

  “When you met mom, what was it like?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When you two met… Do you remember what that was like?”

  He swallowed his bite of food then smiled softly at me.

&nb
sp; “You’ve heard this story many times before,” he said. “Your mother caught my eye. I thought twice about it because of my work. She persisted.”

  “I know that. That’s… not what I mean.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

  “I mean… Do you remember what it was like? What it felt like?”

  My father put his knife and fork down and sighed through his nose. His eyes shifted to the side like he was trying to pull a distant memory from somewhere deep inside his brain.

  “Your mother was beautiful. Long, dark hair that seemed to cascade all around her. She had a gorgeous complexion, too. She had such a beaming smile. Her eyes… The way she looked at me… She was seductive and kind all at the same time.”

  He looked at me, a subtle smile on his lips.

  “You look just like her. I prayed that you ended up looking like her. God blessed me when he blessed you.”

  “Do you remember what it felt like? When you were first with her, being by her side and falling in love?”

  “It wasn’t simple. Even at that age, I knew that a relationship wasn’t just about finding someone else attractive. There had to be something else. I knew that because of the business I was in. It didn’t matter how beautiful your mother was or if she was even willing to please me. She had to be a strong woman. Strong enough to endure the worst because in my line of work, it was a very real possibility.”

  My father’s words lingered inside of my head. I thought about Roman the entire time, wondering if my attraction to him was just physical or something more.

  “Was it a hard decision?” I asked.

  “Was what a hard decision?”

  “Deciding to marry mom.”

  “I didn’t decide to marry your mother. She was the one.”

  “So, you knew she was the one you’d always been looking for.”

  “Not the one I’d been looking for. You never look for the one you love. It’s all about finding yourself and your own feelings. Your mother helped me find those when she kept pushing me.”

  My own feelings…

  I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about him. I knew how I felt about Roman. I was safe. I was secure. I was so comfortable.

  More than anything else, he was honest with me. I could look into his eyes and see everything inside of him. I knew the kind of man he was.

  “Where is all this coming from?” my father asked.

  He picked his knife and fork back up and started cutting away at his food.

  “Ah, I know,” he said before I could answer. “With the wedding coming up, I’m sure you’re thinking hard about whether or not Burke is the one.”

  “What if he’s not? What if he doesn’t inspire any feelings in me? What if I can’t find who I am when I’m with him?”

  I remembered the harsh words Roman said to me the last night I saw him.

  “Don’t you want me to be happy? Wouldn’t mom want me to be happy? What about what I want?”

  My father stared at me. Even from across the table, I could see how tense his face was. Through all of the wrinkles and the blemishes, he was still as intimidating as anybody else.

  “You’ll learn to be happy,” he said. “You’ll find what you want. Give Arthur a chance. I’m sure you’ll eventually understand why I want you to do this.”

  My father didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. Of course he didn’t. Marrying Arthur would give me financial security and the peace of mind he needed before he passed away. There was no better man to follow in the footsteps of a man like Carlo Palazzo.

  I put my silverware down and sighed.

  “You’re not eating,” my father said.

  “I’m sorry. I… I lost my appetite.”

  “Perhaps Burke is right. Must be something in the Ivory water.”

  “Yeah… Must be…”

  I laughed softly to myself to hide my feelings.

  “Excuse me.”

  I got up from my seat and left the dining room. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. They were the only thing that could give me any comfort at the moment.

  My marriage to Arthur was looming. It was less than a month away before my life would change forever. Time was running out. I had to think of something before it was too late.

  Chapter 18

  MIA

  Two weeks later…

  My father’s success meant that he could afford all of the luxuries and necessities my family needed. I never had to worry about having a place to stay or finding clothes to wear or getting something to eat. With my mother gone, I was my father’s only priority. Of course, I was old enough to take care of myself. School was paid for and a small allowance allowed me some freedom.

  I never took it for granted that my father provided me everything I could have ever wanted. It made the decision to go through with marrying Arthur that much easier. I owed my father. The same for my mother.

  Our family had everything. Including a private physician named Dr. Walters who took care of us and kept our family secrets.

  That same doctor I’d known since I was a child was looking down at me now as I rested on my bed.

  “Can you describe how you’re feeling, Miss Palazzo?”

  “I don’t know,” I sighed. “I guess I’ve just been tired.”

  “Fatigue… Any other symptoms?”

  “I’ve had a little trouble keeping my food down.”

  “I see… I just want to make sure that everything is in order.”

  He checked my temperature. He checked my blood pressure. He put his stethoscope to my chest.

  “Your blood pressure is a little elevated,” he said. “Your heart and lungs sound normal though. Do you have any other symptoms?”

  “No,” I said.

  “Can I ask you… Have you been dealing with a lot of stress lately?”

  I would’ve been lying if I said these past few weeks were enjoyable. The wedding loomed over me like a dark cloud. No matter where I was, it was always on my mind. Even when I slept, I had the worst kind of nightmares that woke me from my sleep.

  “I don’t see where my stress would come from,” I said. “The semester has been over for a long time now.”

  “Yes, I can’t imagine that your studies would be bothering you. Perhaps there’s something else on your mind.”

  The old physician smiled softly at me. He was always so kind to me. I joked that he was so concerned with my health out of fear of what my father would do to him if anything happened to me. Whatever his reason was, the family doctor never failed to let me down.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Could stress actually be a reason I’m so tired?”

  “I’m just trying to narrow down the possibilities.”

  “Right…”

  I slowly pushed myself up on the bed. I sat up straight and the doctor observed me.

  “Can I ask you something?” I said.

  “That’s why I’m here.”

  “My father… How is his health?”

  “Your father? He’s doing as well as a man his age can be doing.”

  “How is he doing in general?”

  “If you’re concerned that something might happen to him, he’s as vulnerable as any man or woman his age. But I can assure you that he has many years ahead of him. Nothing you need to worry about.”

  “Right… Thank you…”

  “Miss Palazzo, is there something you want to tell me?”

  “I…”

  He took a seat on the edge of the bed next to me.

  “…I know you’re a doctor. I’ve heard about confidentiality.”

  “Yes, I’m a doctor,” he said with a chuckle. “And there is such a thing as confidentiality with my patients.”

  “Does that still apply to someone like me? Even knowing who and what my father is?”

  He reached forward and put a hand on mine.

  “I’ve known you since before you were born,” he said. “I remember your mother. You look just
like her, though you’re a bit younger than when I first met her.

  “I gave your mother her first checkups. After you were born, I looked you over to make sure that you were as healthy as you could be. I didn’t do it because of who or what your father was. I would’ve treated you the same regardless. You’re my responsibility. You always will be.”

  Dr. Walters smiled softly at me, the wrinkles on his face becoming more pronounced.

  “If I tell you something, can you keep it a secret?” I said.

  “I can’t make any promises concerning your health,” he said. “If it’s something serious, there’s only so much I can do to keep it between us.”

  “It’s nothing like that. I… I know what’s wrong with me. I just don’t want anybody else to know.”

  “Oh? And what is it, Miss Palazzo?”

  I hesitated for a moment then sighed a deep breath. Dr. Walters smiled at me and I realized that I had to tell him just for my own confirmation.

  “I’m late,” I said.

  He stayed calm, nodding his head slowly.

  “I see… How long?”

  “About two and a half weeks.”

  That kind smile still on his face, the doctor patted my hand with his and sighed softly through his nose.

  “Those symptoms do align with what you’re suggesting,” he said.

  “Do they? Even at this stage?”

  “Even at this stage. I’m not asking for my own personal curiosity, but have you… been with someone around that time?”

  I nodded.

  “Then that’s certainly a possibility. I could give you a test you could use to verify it. Nobody else would know and you could keep it to yourself. The safest thing to do would be to make sure that your assumption is correct.”

  “What should I do?”

  “I can’t tell you what to do or what not to do. I can only tell you that your secret is safe with me.”

  He got up from the bed and moved over to his bag. He searched through it and found the small box that was resting inside of it.

  “Here,” he said. “Use this when nobody else is around. Some urine will do the trick. The instructions are simple.”